Redemption on Bandomeer
by TJPart 12
Epilogue: One Month Later
Qui-Gon waited anxiously for Obi-Wan to return from the healers. It had been three weeks since they returned to the Temple, and while his body continued to heal, his memories remained stubbornly distant. Despite all their efforts, the only time Obi-Wan was able to access his lost memories was in his dreams. Qui-Gon was beginning to wonder if the young knight would ever remember.
"And just what will happen to you if he never remembers, old man?" he whispered aloud. That single thought had plagued him ever since Obi-Wan was injured. What would become of their love if all Obi-Wan could remember was the pain?
Pushing that depressing thought away for the time being, Qui-Gon turned his attention to his padawan. At least Anakin had managed to rebuild the trust and friendship they had found. He had been nervous at first, and skeptical. After all, all Obi-Wan remembered was that he had lost his master to him. That did not exactly provide a strong foundation for friendship. But both young men were quite determined.
Qui-Gon looked up as the door to their quarters slid open and Obi-Wan entered. Given the severity of his injuries the healers had not wanted him left alone. That had left two choices - the infirmary or his master's quarters. Obi-Wan had chosen, with a little persuasion from Anakin, to stay with them. Qui-Gon had insisted that Obi-Wan take the bed. The knight had been too weak at the time to argue and had let Qui-Gon sleep on the couch.
"How did it go?" Qui-Gon asked as Obi-Wan all but flopped down on the couch.
"Not that well, I'm afraid," he replied. "We did manage to access a few of my memories from the mission and the weeks leading up to it. The healers told me they doubted if I would ever regain all of my memories. They also said they doubt if I will ever have the stamina I used to. I suspect mine will be the shortest knighthood in the history of the Jedi."
"The hell it will," Qui-Gon vowed angrily. "First of all, the damnable healers don't know everything. Secondly, if you want something bad enough you can make it happen. So you have a permanent reminder of this mission. It can be worked around. You can train yourself to overcome it."
"Master, this is not the loss of agility or reflex we are speaking of," Obi-Wan argued. "This is my overall health. They told me to my face they did not think I would be capable of going on missions any longer."
"Just because they say something is so, does not make it fact," Qui-Gon countered. "And would a life here at the Temple, truly be so bad if it did come down to that? I know it is not the life you dreamt of, the life you longed for, but would it well and truly be too horrible to face?"
"No, it would not be," Obi-Wan replied honestly. "Though it would take a great deal of getting used to. And I do not know that I would want to be around me during that time. It would be hard to watch others...to watch you...going on missions and knowing that I could not."
"As I said before, that is not a foregone conclusion," Qui-Gon said. "And if you are restricted in your duties, know that I will remain here as well."
"You have a padawan to train, Master Jinn," Obi-Wan said.
"Actually, he has two. Padawans, that is," came Anakin's voice from the doorway. Neither man had heard the door open, too caught up in their arguments. "Though only one of us is in need of any real training."
"A master can have only one padawan at a time, Anakin," Obi-Wan said.
"Just because I'm his padawan now, doesn't mean you're not," the boy went on. "You will always be his padawan. Just as I will. Just as he will always be Master Yoda's. When he took me as his padawan, he didn't stop caring about you."
"Anakin, the last thing your master needs right now is another burden..." Obi-Wan began, only to be cut off by one very irate padawan.
"Will you listen to yourself?" Anakin raged. "Burden? You are no more a burden to him than breathing is. Don't you understand? This. Is. Killing. Him. He LOVES you. With everything that he is, he loves you. Maybe if you stopped letting your pain guide you for a few moments, you could see it!"
"Ani, enough," Qui-Gon said softly. He could see fine tremors running through Obi-Wan as Ani's words hit home.
"Master, did you or did you not say that you wanted to ask Obi-Wan to share in my training on Bandomeer?" Anakin asked, a bit more composed.
"Yes," Qui-Gon admitted.
"But you didn't because you were afraid of what his answer would be," Anakin pressed. "You were afraid that he would not want to work that closely with you."
"Anakin, what is the point of this?" Qui-Gon demanded, quickly loosing patience with the boy. Obi-Wan's shaking had grown more pronounced. He would not sit here and watch this man be hurt again. Even by his padawan.
"Please, Master," Anakin said, "just answer the question."
"Yes, I said that," Qui-Gon admitted. "Now what is the point of this?"
"You...you wanted me to help train him? With you?" Obi-Wan asked in disbelief.
"Yes, Obi-Wan, I did," Qui-Gon replied, turning to face the knight once more. "I still do, actually."
"Why?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Because I value your judgement," Qui-Gon said. "Because I wish to be with you. Because I do not think I can do this alone anymore."
"Do what alone?" Obi-Wan questioned. "Raise a padawan?"
"Be a Jedi," came the quiet reply. "I love you and I almost lost you four times over. To lose you now..."
"Say it again," the knight demanded, not daring to breathe.
"Say what again," came Qui-Gon's puzzled reply.
"That you love me."
"Oh, my Obi-Wan." With shaking hands, Qui-Gon took the knight's in his own and began to speak. "I love you. I love you with everything that I am. It hurt so much when I thought I lost you. The mission to Bandomeer was blessing. It let me show you how sorry I was for the way I had treated you. It let you forgive me."
"I do forgive you, Master," Obi-Wan said.
"Then I almost lost you three times more and each time it shredded my soul," Qui-Gon continued. "When I found out your memories were gone, I was...I was despondent. Everything we had worked so hard to rebuild was gone. To have you back by my side only to have the Force snatch you away again was more than I could bear. If it were not for Anakin, I do not know how I would have made it through these last weeks."
"I waited so long to hear those words from you," Obi-Wan began. "I had dreamed of my knighting day for years, of the things I would say to you when I was no longer your padawan. To say things did not go as I had planned would be an understatement."
"I know," Qui-Gon said, shame forcing his eyes down. "I am more sorry than I can say for that."
"Don't," Obi-Wan commanded gently. "You have asked forgiveness and I have given it. Let it lie."
"Obi-Wan, I formally ask that you aid me in the training of my apprentice. I ask that you share this solemn duty with me, that we both might guide him on his path to the Light."
"Qui-Gon, I can not," Obi-Wan said softly. "I am not the knight I was. I am a liability now. I can not train a padawan. How would we go on missions? I have told you what the healers said."
"There are missions and there are missions, my Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replied. "I will accept your answer if you are saying no because you do not wish to do this with me. But I will not accept it if it is because of some perceived lacking in yourself."
"To deny Anakin what is his right because his master is an invalid is wrong," Obi-Wan argued.
"You are NOT an invalid," Qui-Gon snarled, cursing the healers that put such a thought into his head. "And if that is your only concern, perhaps we should ask Ani what he would like."
Both men turned to look at the boy still standing beside the door. He had watched during their debate, and held his tongue. Now, he would get to speak. He waited for a moment and weighed all that he had heard. If he did this, he would have a very different life than that of some of the other padawans. Obi-Wan might well never be able to go on any arduous missions. Was he willing to give that up?
"I would be honored to have you as my master, Knight Kenobi," the young man said formally. Yes, he could give that up easily if it meant having this man in his life, as friend and teacher.
"Are you sure, Anakin?" Obi-Wan pressed. "Think about what you would be giving up."
"What I *might* be giving up," Anakin replied. "And I have. It is my belief that I would gain much more having you as my master than I would running around the galaxy. There are plenty of others to do that. And like Master says, I doubt if we'll be completely Temple bound."
"And if we are completely Temple bound?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I understand that there are some things a padawan has to experience," Anakin said with a shrug. "If you can't come with us, then Master and I will go. Though leaving you behind will be difficult on us both."
"Ani, I would still be your friend even if I am not your master," Obi-Wan said, trying to make the young man see the folly of his choice.
"I know that," Anakin said in exasperation. "But on Bandomeer, we were a family. The three of us. I want that again. I want you to be my master along with Master Qui-Gon. Will you take me as your Padawan Learner?"
"Yes," Obi-Wan said softly. "Though the Council may have something to say about it."
"Not if they know what's good for them, they won't," Anakin replied, surprising both Jedi.
Xanatos smiled as his ship jumped to hyperspace. Slipping past the Jedi had been embarrassingly simple. Now all he had to do was make it back to Telos with his cargo intact. He glanced back over his shoulder and checked the stasis unit again. It would not do to have the thing come awake while he was piloting.
He realized his actions looked like those of a kicked pup running home to lick his wounds. Perhaps this time he was. But he would have his revenge. One day very soon, he would go looking for Qui-Gon again. And when he found him, he would make him pay in ways the Jedi master had never even imagined.
"The Council session went better than I thought it would," Obi-Wan said as Qui-Gon joined him on the balcony. It was late evening and the sky was darkened, giving them a sense of solitude.
"Perhaps it was their cautious nature," Qui-Gon offered. "With both of us to guard him from the Darkness, there is much less chance he will fall."
"Perhaps," Obi-Wan murmured. "It will be some time before I am able to leave the Temple, even for a short while."
"I know," Qui-Gon replied. "But there is much to do here. You have training bond to form and there are lessons Ani needs to catch up on. As well as your own training to start."
"I will try my best, Master, but do not get your hopes up," Obi-Wan warned.
"Shame on you, my Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said with a smile. "There is no try, remember?"
"I will keep that in mind," Obi-Wan laughed, the soft sound making Qui-Gon's soul sing.
"I do love you, my Knight," he said.
"And I you, my Master," Obi-Wan replied. "That's one of the things the healers were able to help me remember."
"Obi-Wan?"
"The night before our mission," Obi-Wan spoke softly. "When I gave you your gift. And then again on Bandomeer, when I told you that I wanted us to be together. That I wanted to try. I remember the love that was between us in that moment. If I remember nothing else, that will be enough."
"I was so scared," Qui-Gon whispered as he sagged against the balcony. The sudden relief was almost overwhelming.
"I know," Obi-Wan said. "I still wish to go slowly, but I be honored to share a bed with you."
"Are you sure about this?" Qui-Gon asked.
"Yes," Obi-Wan replied. "The bed is big enough for us both and I find I long for the comfort of your arms around me. Is it too much to ask that we simply hold each other for now?"
"I could spend forever holding you and nothing more," Qui-Gon said with a smile. "Only when you are ready will it go any further."
"Then let's go to bed," Obi-Wan said as he held out his hand. "I am anxious to begin our eternity."
END.
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