SlytherinBully: ::mutters under her breath as she stomps down to his quarters.:: I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to sodding cry... ::soundly kicks his door, injuring her toes in the process::
I Remus J Lupin: ::he was fiddling about in his room. Keeping busy. He had to keep busy to keep his mind on other things.::
SlytherinBully: ::she bangs her fist briefly against the door before sliding down to sit in the middle of the hallway and nurse her injured foot::
I Remus J Lupin: ::he blinked, looked up -- Severus, perhaps? Or someone else? -- the last thing he's expecting, is a visit from her. Hurriedly he went to the door, and pulled it open:: ....Ms. Bulstrode...?
SlytherinBully: ::unsteadily stands, hopping a little on her healthy foot, can't even bloody kick things properly anymore:: ::glares viciously at him::
SlytherinBully:...you know. Sometimes I think I really bloody hate you.
I Remus J Lupin: ::he ignored it easily.::...what's happened to your foot? ::genuine worry in his voice.::
SlytherinBully: You have a very sturdy door.
SlytherinBully: I found myself upset with it.
I Remus J Lupin: ...oh. My. Do come in, then, we'll-- do something about that foot.
SlytherinBully: ::dryly:: Oh, we won't bother, we're perfectly fine. We're just, at the moment, a bit infuriated.
I Remus J Lupin: ...come in. ::his voice firm.:: I'll see to your foot. My door, after all, is what hurt it.
SlytherinBully: ::raises an eyebrow:: The various injuries that your door is perpetrating might be the least of your concerns right now. You could worry about damage done by your words.
I Remus J Lupin: .... ::he winced slightly:: ...I...I'm sorry....please, come in...
SlytherinBully:Oh, certainly... because it's worked so well for me in the past. ::but she does follow him inside, still glaring::
I Remus J Lupin: ...I'm sorry. I'll just -- take a look at your foot, fix it up as I can; you can yell at me, and it'll all be all right, then. Don't you think? ::he gestured towards the couch::
SlytherinBully: You could at least pretend that it might bother you a little. I was so looking forward to it.
I Remus J Lupin: ::he shook his head slightly, weakly::
SlytherinBully: ::takes a seat across from him:: I should have known as much.
I Remus J Lupin: ...I can assure you, I shall be quite bothered by it, whether it shows clearly, or not.
SlytherinBully: Well... ::raises her chin and endeavors to look as cold as possible:: I should let you know that... I decided that this isn't fair. And so. I don't care anymore. At all. And you can... do whatever you like.
I Remus J Lupin: ...I'm not quite sure...I know what you mean. ::he blinked, widely, kneeling down before her, pulling out his wand to deal with her foot::
SlytherinBully: ::tenses noticably and briefly closes her eyes:: Professor, please just sit, I'm fine.
I Remus J Lupin: ...shh. Quiet, for a moment. ::he leaned in, tapping the injured foot with his wand, murmuring a spell softly, beneath his breath.::
SlytherinBully: ::she curses herself violently for her ridiculous reactions to his position and proximity, closing her eyes tightly this time, trembling just so slightly and biting down cruelly on her lower lip, scarcely noticing the pain vanishing from her previously aching toes::
I Remus J Lupin: ...there. ::he looked up at her, flashed a weak, tender smile, affectionate and oddly bittersweet.:: ....now. What have you to say?
SlytherinBully: ...ah. ::remembers to breathe:: Yes. I had something important to tell you.
I Remus J Lupin: ...and that would be? ::he seated himself beside her.::
SlytherinBully: ::draws in on herself, inching away from him:: ... it seems to have slipped my mind. But I know it wasn't very pleasant.
I Remus J Lupin: ...ah. ::he smiled again, weakly, worriedly.:: ...shall I give you a moment, to remember...?
SlytherinBully: ::her face is warm and almost certainly darkly coloured, and she gives herself a sharp mental slap:: ::absently, and with no conviction whatsoever:: Oh, yes. I don't care in the slightest. About you. Anymore.
SlytherinBully: Outside of the regard that you are my Professor and that means I have to. But other than that. Inappropriate matters are. Inappropriate.
I Remus J Lupin: ::he nodded, once:: ...all right. ::to him -- she meant, as a friend. That was all she could possibly mean, after all.::
SlytherinBully: ::nods in agreement:: ... right, then. We're... quite clear. About my emphatic not caring.
I Remus J Lupin: ...very, very clear. I'm glad you've been so honest and so frank about it all.
SlytherinBully: I've never had much of a gift for subtlety.... It seems as though I misplaced my sanity in your quarters on Saturday last, and I've had a difficult go trying to function without it, so...
SlytherinBully: It's much better this way. For everyone involved.
I Remus J Lupin: ...I don't know if I quite see it that way. But I must say -- Ms. Bulstrode -- if you feel it is best, for your sake, then by all means. I wish only for your happiness.
SlytherinBully: ::shakes head:: Lupin, happiness is not my concern. Sanity. I've... ::rolls eyes, she'll be in trouble for it either way, now or later:: I ought to be in Potions now, did you know? Potions has always been my favourite subject. Notwithstanding serious illness or apocalyptic threat, I have never missed Potions. But I can't even look Professor Snape in the eye anymore. I know entirely too much about him, I care entirely too much about the whole... all of this, and it's... I'm quite sure I've lost my mind.
I Remus J Lupin: ...I'm-- I'm sorry, for that. It was-- quite inappropriate, to embroil you in all of this. I'm... forgive me. Please.
SlytherinBully: ::looks at him skeptically:: It's my own fault, Remus, I all but held you down and made you talk to me.
I Remus J Lupin: ...still. You didn't force me to, after all. It was inappropriate; I wished for someone I could talk to, and I forgot that you were a student. Not a friend.
SlytherinBully: ::slightly stunned, her mouth parts slightly:: ::softly:: ... did you?
I Remus J Lupin: ...yes. I'm afraid, as inappropriate as it was, I did. For that -- I am sorry. I got a bit carried away.
SlytherinBully: ::looking studiously at the floor:: I suppose we couldn't really be friends. Since I am a student. ... who's lost her mind. ... and also doesn't care about you.
I Remus J Lupin: ...right. Obviously, it seems...we can't.
SlytherinBully: ::bites thoughtfully at her lower lip:: ... Professor. About the, ah. The not caring. ... Strangely, it seems... no matter how many times I say it... it doesn't quite seem to take.
I Remus J Lupin: ...because you can't really talk your heart into anything, you know. ...the mind and the heart are...two different things, completely. They never comply.
SlytherinBully: I've never had much to listen to from my heart before. So you'll please forgive me if I'm... unfamiliar with the sound.
I Remus J Lupin: ...it's the only thing, in the end, you should listen to. ...when you get right down to it, that is. But-- I have nothing to forgive you for.
SlytherinBully: ... on that advice, I suppose... ::tilts her head slightly and squint at him:: Remus, you really ought to have a friend. One who isn't... anything more than that.
I Remus J Lupin: ...I have a few. Minerva, for one, Albus, for another...really, it's all I can do. I'm not very...good, with people.
SlytherinBully: Ah... well, right then. ::colours slightly:: ::with a wry smile:: it's.... good to know you're taken care of.
SlytherinBully: After all, I suppose I'm not the most personable... person in this school, myself. ::engages in a bit more mental masochism. 'My, how eloquent we are this afternoon, Millicent...'::
I Remus J Lupin: ...Normally, the best of us aren't. ::pauses for a moment -- thinking of Sirius, how charming, how easy with words he once was -- and winces, looking away::
SlytherinBully: ::with his eyes off of her, she briefly scrapes sharp nails across her forearm. the silence feels heavy to her, and things seem to have gone, yet again, decidedly polite. remembering why she came here in the first place, she starts:: Well... well, I suppose that's that, then.
SlytherinBully: ::she glances at him with a small, fond smile:: ...you know... for as... unsettling as it's been, Remus... it has been somewhat enjoyable.
SlytherinBully: Accidentally almost being your friend.
I Remus J Lupin: ::he leaned over, touching her arm lightly, palms cool against the scrape marks; sleeve of his robe rolled up slightly with the movement:: ...that...leaves scars. ::he felt oddly strange saying it -- most assuredly impulsive -- but the same sort of marks, age-old, it seemed, were revealed on his own flesh, some old, some new:: ...best not to. Get in the habit of it.
SlytherinBully: ::again, involuntarily, her eyes close and her breath catches in her throat. his touch is, as always, so gentle. but she doesn't remember anything hurting quite as much:: ... seems a bit late for that.
I Remus J Lupin: ...yes. I thought as much. I-- know, at least. How...that is.
SlytherinBully: ::softly:: ... Remus.
SlytherinBully: ...inappropriate. Isn't it?
I Remus J Lupin: ...yes. ...quite...inappropriate. I'm sorry.
SlytherinBully: ::quite unable to stop herself:: ... do you mind?
I Remus J Lupin: ...no. I don't believe -- that I do.
SlytherinBully: I... ::startles back from him, pulling her arm away and looking toward the ceiling:: ... you're not going to make me cry again, all right, you're not. So bloody stop.
I Remus J Lupin: ::he pulled his hand back, resting it lightly in his lap, eyes darkened:: I'm not trying to, you know.
SlytherinBully: ::leaning forward, she rests her elbows on her knees and her forehead against the palms of her hands. that was too... that was entirely too close to... something. and she can't stop her body from shaking.:: ::sighs::... I know.
I Remus J Lupin: ::he hesitated, then leaned over, wrapping an arm lightly, gently, around her shoulders:: ...just for the moment. As...inappropriate as it is. As...much as you don't like me.
SlytherinBully: ::she leans back into his touch... she has no choice, there is simply nothing else that could be done:: I suppose... ::it does nothing to calm her... she's trembling so violently she didn't think her body could move like this without the expressed consent of her mind. she fancies she can hear the pounding of her heart.:: ... just a moment wouldn't hurt.
I Remus J Lupin: ::he pulled her gently close, completely innocent in the embrace, fingers running down her back lightly, rubbing it. Gentle, gentle, ever gentle. Nothing more behind it than that, that friendly, brotherly sort of caring.::
SlytherinBully: Remus... ::if she could move of her own active volition, she'd cling to him.:: ... please. ::stop just stop just be the adult here and put a bloody stop to this...::
I Remus J Lupin: ...I'm sorry. ::he releases her and leans back, folding his hands::...after all... you don't even like me.
SlytherinBully: ::she finally chances a look at him... and knowing him as she's come to, it's shouldn't be a surprise that he's not teasing her, that he simply seems truly oblivious, no matter how obvious she thinks she's been:: ...you really don't... ::there ought to be a moment here, an extremely crucial moment, in which she pauses to take into consideration the wealth of stupid things she's chosen to do in her life, and realize quite how far behind this one will leave them:: ... ::there is not:: ... ::quite without thought, she closes the distance between them and, with her eyes squeezed tightly shut as though she's just been viciously pinched, presses her mouth briefly to his::
I Remus J Lupin: ::silence. Deep, aching silence, staggered and unsure and Remus was desperately, desperately trying to figure it all out. So this was what she -- oh, God, he was an idiot -- but Merlin, he never seemed to catch it, never seemed to understand. He took in a deep, deep breath, slow and steadying. The most important thing here was...was not to hurt her.::
SlytherinBully: ::pulling away is much slower, or just feels so, and her eyes don't open until she's quite sure she's able to look with fierce intent on anything that is not him:: ::her voice is surprisingly strong, with a clear tone of finality::... I think... that ought to settle the question. And as such, we should never, ever mention it. To each other or anyone else. Ever again.
I Remus J Lupin: ::he touched her shoulder, gently, watching her face intently, if not sadly:: ...
SlytherinBully: ::at his touch, she turns and looks steadily at him, her eyes clear and unwavering:: ::she is no longer shaking:: ... Remus. Can I ask that of you? That you would let it be?
I Remus J Lupin: ...I would. ::a pause.:: You may ask anything of me that you wish, and I shall grant all that are within my power to give. ::his eyes softened, crinkling at the corners:: ...I'll let it be.
SlytherinBully: ::she looks away sighs deeply, relieved beyond the telling of it:: ... thank you, Remus.
SlytherinBully: ::she lowers her head briefly, shaking it, to herself... and she can't help the corners of her mouth curling up unrepentently:: ... ::another glance at his face, his expression and his... honest shock... and she'd be damned if she could do anything but laugh::
I Remus J Lupin: ::he smiled slightly, shaking his head a bit, rubbing awkwardly at the side of his own cheek with a thumb::
SlytherinBully: ::after a moment's thought, she regards him brightly:: ...one might say, Professor... that simple friendship might be quite a few steps back in the right direction. On the grand scale of all that is entirely appropriate.
I Remus J Lupin: ...friendship would...be quite nice, and quite more appropriate, yes... ::returns the smile suddenly, brightening::
SlytherinBully: ...pleased to hear it. If that had been for nothing, Remus...  I imagine it might have been... altogether mortifying. ::grins quickly at him::
I Remus J Lupin: ...yes. Yes, I suppose...it would have... ::looking at her in an entirely whole new light, now.::
SlytherinBully: ::supposes the statute of limitations on speaking about it may as well hold up until the end of their conversation:: ... I'd never... exactly done it before, you know. Or, ah. Well, I suppose you wouldn't.
I Remus J Lupin: ...no. I wouldn't. But. Now I do, and... ::he swallowed, hard, head tilting to the side, giving her shoulder a squeeze. He can't-- say anything, to that.::
SlytherinBully:::firmly:: Remus, don't get maudlin. ... It doesn't hurt.
I Remus J Lupin: ...right. Sorry. I told you, I have...a tendency...
SlytherinBully: ::gives him an obvious smile:: ...really? I hadn't noticed.
I Remus J Lupin: ...I'm sure half of Hogwarts has, you know.
SlytherinBully: ::raises an eyebrow:: You'd think so. But the majority of them generally seem quite spectacularly oblivious. A bit too, ah, wrapped up in matters of their own. ::colours lightly:: Or those that strictly aren't their own, as the case may be.
I Remus J Lupin: ... I can't -- I can't even follow it all, you know. It's...absolutely impossible. More of a-- a soap opera, than anything else. half of it...to tell you the truth...terrifies me.
SlytherinBully: ...try being caught in the middle of it every day, rather than somewhere vaguely above. No wonder I seem to have latched so tightly onto you.