Fandom: The Magnificent SevenBack to the stories index
Archive: It's yours if you want it, just let me know where it's going.
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Nope.
Summary: The first thing I ever sent to a mailing list. It's a parody of Everyone's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, and it's a good thing too or Ezra would *never* get out!
Feedback: I'll take anything - praise and criticism are *always* welcome!
Notes: This was influenced by Everyone's Free (To Watch Early Edition), which was influenced by Everyone's Free (To Watch NewsRadio), which was obviously influenced by Everyone's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) by Baz Luhrmann. Whew. Anyways, I didn't write the song, I just messed with the lyrics a little, so I have no rights to it.Ladies and Gentlemen from the viewers of '99, watch The Magnificent Seven. Everyone's Free (To Watch The Magnificent Seven)
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, watching would be it. The long-term benefits of watching have been proven by the dedication of the viewers, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of the first 22 episodes. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of these episodes until your tapes have faded. But trust me, a few years from now you'll look back at these episodes and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before the cast and how great they really were.
Charlotte was not as bad as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future of the show - we will bring it back. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to get CBS to listen to us by sounding like a bunch of teeny-boppers. The real troubles for the show are apt to be the things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 2:30 am on some idle Wednesday, or at 9:00 pm on Friday when you realize you're out of blank tapes.
Listen to Josiah, even if his advice scares you.
Drink at the saloon.
Don't be reckless with other people's fan fiction. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Gamble - with Ezra, not against him.
Don't waste your time on being jealous of Mary. Sometimes she likes Chris, sometimes she likes Gerard…the season is long, and in the end she didn't end up with either one of them.
Remember the good episodes. Forget the bad ones. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your faith in the show. Throw away the form responses.
Never forget to remember.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. Buck didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. Josiah still doesn't.
Get plenty of Vin.
Be kind to our boys. You'll miss them if they go.
Maybe Chris and Mary will get together, maybe they won't. Maybe JD and Casey will get together, maybe they won't. Maybe you'll never get married, like Maude, maybe you'll never have a chance, like Nathan. Whatever you do, don't congratulate the producers too much, or berate them either. Their choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your guns. Use them every way you can. Don't be afraid of them, or what they might do to other people. They're the greatest tools you'll ever own.
Bathe, even if you have to do it alone.
Read Vin's poetry, even if he can't.
Do not read TV Guide, it will only depress you when you can't find a listing for the show.
Get to know the Seven. You never know when they may unfortunately be gone for good. Be nice to the guest stars. They're the best link to the past, and the people most likely to come back in the future.
Understand that good shows come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to tape the episodes that mean the most to you, because the older you get, the more you need the shows you watched when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before you get labeled a greenhorn.
Live in California once, but leave before you get labeled as Michael Biehn's stalker.
Travel - but never alone. Always go with Sheriff Wilmington or Sheriff Dunne.
Accept certain inalienable truths: ratings will fall, networks will be stupid, your show, too, will get old. And when it does, you'll fantasize that when you were young, ratings were high, networks were smart, and shows were good.
The Magnificent Seven is good.
Don't expect anyone else to understand your obsession with the show - but don't hold it against them. Maybe they watch soap operas. Maybe they watch Friends. But you never know when they'll come to their senses.
Don't mess too much with JD's body, or by the time he's 21, he'll be dead.
Be careful whose summaries you buy, but be patient with those who supply them. There's always someone who's been watching the show longer than you, and knows just a little bit more. Explaining old episodes is a way to fish them from the past, wipe them off, and relive the joy of the first time you saw them.
But trust me on the watching.