Anything Can Happen
Pairing: Scott/Logan and an orangutan, but it's less
kinky than that sounds
Series/Sequel/Scenario: Like my other stories, this
one is movieverse. It was written at the request of
my elder daughter who knows that I write X-Men stories
but that they are intended for adults and not
appropriate for her. She asked me to write one
appropriate for a nearly nine-year-old to read or
hear. So, I did. The content is fine for children, I
think, but I also think it's stylistically similar to
my other stories. And I have worked at making the
characters and events described consistent as well.
This one takes place after the mission against Magneto
and before the events described in my first series, "I
Know What You Are."
Rating: G (I wasn't sure my fingers could type that.)
Disclaimer: The X-Men belong to Marvel. The movie
belongs to Fox. I have never been to the Dallas Zoo,
but I hear good things about it. I have, however,
held a baby orangutan.
Literature: It has been my practice to publish a
literature guide with each of my series, offering
supplemental information on literature quoted in the
stories and URLs for further reading. This is a
one-shot, so it doesn't really require it. Most
readers will probably notice the obligatory
Shakespeare and Eliot references. It's worth noting,
perhaps, that the title of the story comes from a
lovely children's poem by the late Shel Silverstein.
Here it is in its entirety:
Listen to the Mustn'ts
Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me ---
Anything can happen, child.
ANYTHING can be.
"Do I have to?"
Charles Xavier laughed out loud.
"What's so funny?" Scott asked.
"You. It's just so incongruous. You look like Cyclops, Field Leader of the X-Men, but you're sounding like a little kid." He chuckled again. "You know, I've never seen your eyes, Scott, but I'd bet anything you were rolling them, too."
"Answer the question, Charles. Why should I have to do it? Surely you can send somebody else. I've got a lot of work to do here."
"I know you're a very busy man. Who knows better than I do? I'm the one who keeps you busy. But, yes, you've got to be the one to go. It's got to be a trustee of the Xavier Foundation, someone who can sign the documents there and take responsibility for the animal. That's you, me, and Hank. Hank's not going to be back until next month. We can't wait for his return and I can't do it."
"Why not?"
"For one thing, I can't fly the Blackbird. We need to use our own jet for the pickup. I've checked with the airlines - if we bring it back by commercial carrier it's going in a cage in the baggage compartment. The zoo people tell me there's only 50% chance it would survive that trip. This animal is much too valuable to take a risk on.
"So the Blackbird it is. If I go I've got to take a pilot with me. And the only pilot available besides you is Jean. With Hank gone I really don't think we want to have our only other doctor away from the school. Particularly not right now, with Rogue still healing." He smiled benevolently at Scott. "And besides, I really need to stay here. I'm busy, too, you know. Not just with school and team business. With the Mutant Registration Act being so narrowly defeated I'm constantly getting calls - from the press, from legislators. Somebody has to talk to them, to convince them that we're not a menace, to make a case for our people."
"Oh come off it, Charles. You could take a day off and the world wouldn't end." They sat there in silence, Charles looking patiently at Scott, waiting for him to come to the obvious conclusion. "Yeah, okay, I know. I could, too. Well, I don't want to."
"I know."
"Yeah, you know everything. You're infuriatingly omniscient, do you know that, Charles?"
Xavier laughed again. "I don't know everything, Scott. Why don't you want to go?"
"I just don't want to spend a whole day flying to Texas and back with an uncontrollable, unkempt animal."
"The zoo people tell me the orangutan is quite docile. And besides you'll only have it with you on the trip back."
"I wasn't talking about the orangutan."
"You getting any better at landings, Cyclops?"
"What are you so scared of? You're the one with the healing factor."
Logan didn't reply. His comment, intended to needle Scott about his piloting ability, had come out sounding like cowardly concern. "Cyclops 1, Wolverine 0" Scott thought to himself. And then felt silly for trying to one-up Logan like that. He tried to make amends. "I'm sorry," he said. "I guess you're as happy about this assignment as I am."
"Nah, I don't mind. I'd think you'd like it, too. It beats the usual kind of mission - risking your life fighting the bad guys. Don't you think so?" Logan sounded almost friendly.
Scott shrugged. "I don't know. I guess that's the kind I'm used to. And I'm not used to wild animals."
Logan laughed. "I'm hoping you're talking about the orangutan there." Scott didn't answer, but he smiled. "Anyway, I'm pretty good with animals. I understand them or something. I think it's related to the heightened senses. I guess that's why the professor sent me with you. Don't worry about it - you fly the plane; I'll handle the ape." He paused a minute. "What's so special about this orangutan anyway?"
"It's apparently the first confirmed non-human mutant. The zoo people are spooked by it and they're all too willing to let us take it off their hands. Jean and Hank are thrilled for the chance to study it."
"What will they do to it?" Logan's voice was low.
"I don't know. Just document its mutant powers, do some blood tests, maybe some DNA tests. That kind of stuff." Logan sighed in relief. "Why?" Scott asked. "What do you care what they do?"
Logan shrugged. "I guess I'm not too thrilled with the idea of experimentation, at least of the painful variety."
"You know they aren't going to hurt the animal, Logan. This is Jean and Hank we're talking about." Scott had started off belligerent but his tone was soft now. He'd forgotten what Jean had told him about the torture and experimentation Logan had been through but it came back clearly when he saw Logan feeling sympathy for an animal he hadn't even seen. Scott resolved to be a little more patient with Logan for the rest of the mission.
Scott found his resolve tested before they even landed at Fort Worth Alliance Airport. A sudden storm made the approach into Dallas difficult and the landing bumpy. "You call that a landing?" Logan said as soon as they taxied to a stop.
"Give it a rest, Logan. That line's getting old." They got out of the plane and Scott spoke to the mechanics, the rain and wind strong enough to penetrate the thick rubber ponchos the mechanics wore.
The two of them headed for the car rental desk where Logan managed to rent a car, although the agent looked questioningly at Scott the whole time. "What was that all about?" Logan asked as they got into the car.
"It's the glasses. They're conspicuous enough inside at the best of times, but nobody's going to think I just forgot to take them off, given the weather." The rain and wind had gotten even stronger making the drive to the Dallas Zoo long and slow. They said little, Logan concentrating on the road. "I don't think you're going to be able to take off in this," he said to Scott, as they arrived at the zoo.
"Maybe it will clear up before we have to go back."
It didn't. By the time the two mutants had arrived at the zoo, Alliance Airport had closed due to the storm, as had Love Field and Dallas-Fort Worth International. Scott was about to call Addison as well when Logan took the phone from his hand. "What's the point, Cyclops? Even if you can find an airport that's open - which you won't - how are you gonna get your jet there? Face it - we're here for the night."
The zoo staff concurred. They recommended a nearby motel and had made a reservation for the visiting X-Men, concerned that with the storm raging the place would fill up fast. Scott thanked them for their foresight. A trainer brought the orangutan into the room where they were meeting, walking along holding its hand, looking for all the world like a mother with a particularly hairy child. "It's so small!" Scott exclaimed. "Is it a baby?"
"Yes, he's not quite two years old." The trainer emphasized the "he" slightly. "They ordinarily stay with their mothers until they wean, which takes about seven years."
"So why are you giving him away without his mother?" Logan asked, squatting down in front of the orangutan, eye to eye. "Hi there, bub," he said to the animal, holding out his hand. The orangutan dropped the trainer's hand and took Logan's, staring into his eyes.
"She rejected him," the trainer answered, "as soon as his mutant powers became evident."
"A problem across species," Scott said bitterly. "Does he have a name?" he asked.
"Yeah, your friend knows it." Scott and Logan both looked at her questioningly. "It's 'Bub'."
Logan laughed and said, "Hi Bub" again. The little orangutan held his arms up to him, looking almost like a human baby asking to be picked up. Logan laughed again and lifted the animal up. Bub took one long arm and wrapped it all the way around Logan's neck. "I think he likes me," he said.
"Birds of a feather..." Scott mused. Then, after a pause, "So what's his gift?"
"Watch this," the trainer said in response, holding up a banana. "Hey, Bub, want a banana?" The banana floated up in the air, out of her hand and towards the orangutan. Without taking his arm away from Logan's neck, Bub peeled it and took a bite. Then he held it out to Logan to taste.
"I think Bub here has found someone he can really relate to," the trainer said with a chuckle.
"They have a lot in common," Scott answered. "Okay, Logan, you've got the animal eating out of your hand. No, scratch that - Bub has you eating out of his hand, but the principle's the same. Guess what? I'm glad you came along."
He turned to the trainer. "So we should come back tomorrow to pick Bub up?"
"Oh, no. You have to take him today. We're closed tomorrow."
"We can't drive up to a motel with a caged animal," Scott replied.
"You can't put him in a cage. He'd be very upset! We only have natural habitats here."
"Let me get this straight," Scott said slowly. "You're expecting us to check into a hotel while holding an orangutan."
"I wouldn't dream of telling you how to do your job," the trainer replied, dripping with sarcasm. "But if I were in your position I would plan on one of you checking in and the other waiting with the orangutan in the car. Then, once I had the key, I'd drive round to the room and park there, bringing in Bub here wrapped in a blanket. If anyone does see you - and who's going to be out in this weather? - they'll think you have a baby in there.
"I don't know how you all do things in New York," she continued, drawing out the name of the state, saying it like she was naming a place on a different planet, "but here in Texas it's a little easier to check into motels if you don't mention that you're bringing an orangutan into the room."
In spite of being a little annoyed at her tone, Scott could see the wisdom in the advice. He looked over at Logan, still holding onto Bub. They were just finishing the banana. Scott shook his head in disbelief. "If anyone had told me this job would include spending the night in a Texas motel with a Wolverine and an orangutan, I never would have taken it." He noticed the trainer looking at him quizzically. "Okay," he said, all business now. "Let's gather up whatever we need to take with us. Food? Instructions? Oh, and Logan - Bub can stay in your room since you're getting along so well, okay?"
"Uh... Mr. Summers," the trainer hesitated. "I'm afraid we could only get one room. With the storm, almost everything was booked."
Scott contemplated banging his head against a nearby wall. After reflecting on the fact that he would probably have a perfectly adequate headache even without doing so, he decided against it. He signed the transfer papers and gathered up all the materials the trainer offered.
The two X-Men, following the animal trainer's advice, managed to check into the motel. Once in the room, Logan let Bub out of the blanket. The little orangutan bounced all over the small motel room, jumping on the furniture, ripping the stationery in the desk, playing with the TV remote. It used its telekinetic powers, too, causing pillows, a telephone book and a Gideon bible to fly all over the room. "I will never forgive you for this, Charles Xavier, as long as I live," Scott muttered to himself.
Finally, Bub fell asleep, curled up in a corner on the floor, clutching the blanket Logan had carried him in. Scott looked around at the ravaged room, picking up pillows and blankets and righting lamps. He yawned, realizing it was past midnight back home. "I'll flip you for the bed," he told Logan.
"Go ahead, Cyclops," Logan replied, sitting down in the armchair. "I can't sleep with you, anyway."
"What do you mean?" Scott looked at him sidelong.
"I can't sleep in the same room as someone else. It's not safe. I might have a nightmare. You know what happened to Rogue. And you don't have her mutant powers and your doctor girlfriend isn't here to help. 'Scott, get a pillow' is the extent of your medical training, right? I'll stay awake. You can have the bed."
And he did. Scott stretched out on the bed and fell asleep immediately. Waking in the morning, he opened his eyes and saw Logan still in the armchair. Eyes wide open, albeit bloodshot. "You okay?" he asked. Logan nodded.
"I'm sorry, Scott. Really."
"Yeah, right. Talk about your restless nights in one-night cheap hotels. If it had been April instead of October, Charles, I would suspect you got 'Ro to come up with that storm as a practical joke."
Charles smiled. "Logan really was a help, wasn't he?"
"Yeah, I'll concede that. Being stuck in a hotel with Logan and an ape overnight was not exactly my idea of fun, but it would have been worse without him. And you know what? He stayed awake all night. He's really worried about accidentally hurting someone again if he has a nightmare."
"There's more to him than meets the eye, you know."
"Yes, I saw glimpses of the more myself, even." Neither of them said anything for a minute.
"So all's well that ends well?" Charles asked.
"I suppose so. Jean's thrilled with Bub - thinks he's going to be a huge help in the X-gene research she and Hank are doing."
"Yes, she really seems fascinated by the orangutan," Charles answered. And then, with a teasing smile, "Is that okay with you, Scott?"
"More than okay." Scott smiled back at him. "I'm not worried, Charles. No wild animal is going to steal my girl."
The End