Long Road Back
by Jemisard

Fandom: X-Men movie verse
Pairing: Logan/Scott, Charles/Erik
Rating: R
Status: complete
Archive: If you ask nicely :)
Series/Sequel: "Lost Past" 11
Disclaimers: They aren't mine. You know that. I'm just borrowing them.
Thanks:Erika and Nadja, my guiding lights. You have encouraged this series and treated it like your own with the love you show for it. Also, thanks to Hayate, I adore your art, honey, and to those who encouraged me to continue with my writing.
Summary:The mansion tries to adjust to the new Scott, not least of all those who were close to him before.
Warnings:Slash, violence, explicit sex scenes.

Logan sat on the floor with books scattered around him. He picked one up and glance at the cover. "Ya sure we need this much?"

Ororo nodded. "Psychology, physiology, re education, amnesia, adult learning,"

"I get the picture, Ro." Logan sighed. "This is gonna take us forever."

Ororo put down the book she held. "He will learn it all again. Eventually, we'll give him back his memories."

"But half those memories aren't learnin' thin's. They're us, and before this whole fuck up."

"I know." Ororo picked up her book again. "Have you ever dealt with something like this? Seen anything like it?"

"No."

"I have. The mutant programming centre in Africa. They take normal mutants, and destroy their memories, personalities. The treatment drives them so far into their shells that they can't interact with anyone anymore. The memories are there, but they have difficulty expressing themselves. Completely childlike and their innocence so long gone that they nothing like children."

Logan nodded slowly. "So, he's still Scott, under all that programmin' shit?"

"Somewhere. Hiding. You've seen him."

There was a faint knock on the door and Scott looked in. "Logan?"

"What is it, bub?" He patted next to him, and Scott came to sit on the floor.

"When, come? Mo?"

"In a couple o' days. Ya lookin' forward ter seein' her?"

Scott nodded slowly. "What book?"

"These are fer ya. We're gonna re teach ya, get ya mind back on track."

"Syn, syntapic halls. No, like."

Logan stared at him. "What ya sayin'?"

Scott turned to Ororo. "Synpatic." He tapped his head. "Make work. Make easy, not hard."

"I don't understand what you're saying, Scott. Stop and think about the words."

"Know word! Know what say, not say." He slammed the heel of his hand into his head. Logan grabbed the hand. "Hey, hey, hey, what we say about doin' that, slim?"

"Bad."

"Yeah, ya shouldn't do that, ya'll end up like me. Don't do it, okay? Ya can't work it out, don't mean ya should hit yerself."

Scott nodded again, eyes sinking shut. "Why? Why so bad? Some good, some bad, never right."

"They messed with yer head. It ain't yer fault."

Scott went to Logan and lay down against him, curling up into a loose fetal position. "Wolv?"

Logan bit his lip. Scott generally only called him Wolv when he started slipping again. "Yeah?"

"Who girl, walls, keep walk."

"Kitty? She's one o' yer students."

"Student. What teach?"

"Physics. Maths. Motor class. Ya remember?"

"Little. Sometime, remember, little, some of lots, not lots of some. Words still, try say, not come right. Right in head, wrong on tongue."

Ororo looked up from her book. "Charles thinks they may have interfered with his social and interaction centres in his mind, to prevent him from being able to blend in with unaltered people."

"Fuck his socials so bad he couldn't be anywhere but in care. But they fucked up his memories too, to stop him from working out how ter blend."

She nodded. "Basically. Anything that may allow him to blend."

"Synaptics." Scott sat up. "Syn, synaptic pathways in brain."

Ororo stared at him. "Yes. The synaptic pathways."

Scott grinned. "Word worked."

Logan hugged him. "See, told ya we could fix ya eventually."

Scott smiled. "How long?"

"While yet, slim. But we'll get there."

Scott shrugged happily. Logan wrapped an arm around him and breathed deeply of his scent. Yeah, things would be okay in the end.

Jean stumbled out of the room and leant against the door. Ororo smiled at her sympathetically. "Difficult student?"

"Terrible. You think I'd remember from when we were younger."

"He was a great student then."

"Oh yeah, so he was." Jean chuckled bitterly. "I don't know what to do with him. He's docile and sweet one minute, and violent the next. I can't cope with him, Ororo."

Logan burst through the door. "How'd class go?"

Jean stared up at him. "You can deal with him, Logan, I need a break."

"Handful?"

"Several."

Logan sniggered and pushed open the door to the classroom where they trying to teach Scott.

Books lay everywhere. The desk was over turned and the light had been blasted out. Logan shook his head. "Scott?"

"Wolv?"

Logan spotted him, sitting behind the teacher's desk. He looked up at Logan and smiled. "Wolv. Light went."

"Did ya blast it?"

Scott thought about it. "Maybe."

"Slim, what happened?"

"Thought, saying same over and over, many times, many, bright white light, bad, keep asking, thought."

"Okay, ya got spooked. That's okay."

"Hurt Jean?"

"No." Logan pulled Scott up and into his arms. "No, ya didn't hurt her, but she seems to be on the receivin' end of yer scares quite a bit."

Scott nodded. "Doctor, Jackson, bad. Jackson gone?"

Logan nodded. "He's gone, slim. Gonna be in prison fer a long time.

"Good. Bad man locked up. No hurt others."

Logan rocked them back and forth for a while, thinking. "Scott, why'd ya try an' hurt Jeannie?"

"Bad. Thought, confused. Just confused."

"That's okay, slim." He pulled Scott's head down onto his shoulder. "Ya didn't mean to?"

Scott pulled back. "What, what if did mean? Logan be angry?"

"No, but I'd wanna know why ya wanna hurt her."

"Didn't. Mistake. Wanted know, Logan?"

"What?"

"Logan, hmm, never mind."

Logan sat on the edge of the desk and pulled Scott against him. "No, what is it?"

"No say. Bad. Not want say." He tried to pull out of Logan's grasp somewhat unenthusiastically. Logan held onto him, watching the soft featured twist with concentration on something.

"Wolv?"

"Logan, slim."

"Logan. Logan been in love?"

He chuckled. "Not fer a long time, slim."

"Oh. How know?"

"Well, I guess ya just know. Ya can feel it. Ya care for them, and can't imagine bein' without 'em."

"Like Logan."

"Whacha mean, slim?"

"Logan always care, always kind, never go. Logan love?"

Logan paused, thinking about it. "Never really stopped ter think of it like that. Yeah, I guess I love ya, in my own funny way."

Scott nodded slowly. "Logan, not, not love?"

"No, not at all. Slim, come here." He pulled Scott to sit next to him, and then lay him down to rest in his lap. "I love ya, I do. We all do. Chuck, Jeannie, Ro, we all love ya."

"Not get. Logan love more? Logan act more love."

"Well, umm, yeah, I guess I do act a bit more protective towards ya. And well, yeah. Maybe I do love ya differently to what they do."

Scott smiled gently. "Logan love slim?"

"Yer name's not slim, and ya know it."

"Avoid question. Logan love?"

Logan sighed. "Yeah. Dammit, I do love ya, slim. I wouldn't put up with bein' corrected otherwise."

Scott grinned and kissed Logan soundly on the lips. "Class done?"

"Until Jeannie stops panicking' about ya tryin to fry her, yeah. Class is over."

"Not try hurt."

"I know." Logan stood up. "C'mon, I'm gonna teach ya ter play pool."

Scott grabbed Logan's hand and let himself be led outside.

Logan gave up after three games. He stood, dumbstruck, as Scott potted the black with a grin. "Good?"

"Uh, yeah, you could say that." Logan moved over and wrapped an arm around Scott's waist. "Slim, how'd ya do that?"

"Can see, lines, movement," he tapped his head. "Up here. See where go."

"Oh." Logan pressed a light kiss to to the lean neck. "Is that part o' yer mutation, slim?"

"Yes."

Logan grinned. It was the first time that Scott had answered a yes/no question verbally since this started. "Slim?"

"Logan."

"Ya tired?"

"No. Want play pool."

Logan sighed and nodded. "Okay, one more round."

One more round turned into seven, and it moved towards tea time. Eventually, Logan dragged Scott away from the pool table to go and eat in the kitchen.

Though they would normally eat with the students, Jean and Charles both thought it was better to keep Scott away from the children until he stopped having panic attacks.

Logan pushed the food towards Scott. "C'mon slim, ya gotta eat."

"Bad."

"It's food, it ain't bad."

"Bad. Bad, bring giddy, bring shock, bad, bad, no, Wolv, no," Scott started rocking slightly and his struck his temple with his palm.

"Slim!" Logan grabbed Scott's hand. "Don't do that. Stay calm. I cooked this, it ain't drugged."

"Drug, black, bad," Scott was rocking slightly again, eyes wide and fearful. "No, drugs, bad, tired, shock, Wolv, no hurt."

Logan stood up and moved behind Scott, pulled him back and wrapped his arms around Scott. "Hey, calm down. Okay, breathe deep."

Scott took a deep breath and leant back. "Sorry. Sometimes, things get, busy in, head."

Logan grinned. "That were nearly perfect, slim."

"Was. Not were. Bad Wolv, grammar."

Logan stared down at the red whirlpools. Scott looked up at him, smile still lingering on his lips. "Logan?"

"Yeah, bub?"

"Kiss me."

"Okay."

Logan leant down and around, and captured the still smiling lips with his own, tongue darting across the smooth lips until it was caught and sucked on lightly. He moaned and moved to straddle the younger man.

Scott pushed up into Logan's grip, shoving their mouths together harder.

Finally, they pulled apart. Logan grinned. "Ya still haven't eaten."

"No eat. Bad."

"Yes eat. Food good."

"Bad." Scott pouted and stared at Logan defiantly. "No eat."

"Scott, I ain't gonna argue with ya. Yer gonna eat, even if I have to jam that food down yer throat. I don't wanna do that, so ya better eat it yerself."

Scott relented, picking at the meat with his fingers. Logan grabbed his hand and stuck a fork in it. "Use this, stops ya getting gravy everywhere."

Scott looked at it and stabbed it into the meat, picking it up. He licked at the gravy and grimaced. "Meat off."

"It's not off, that's gravy, ya dope. Eat it, it makes meat taste nicer."

"Urgh." Scott lay it down. "No. Bad."

Logan stood up and banged his head against the wall. "Scott, ya bein' a pain. Please, try it, fer me."

"Bad, Logan. Hit bad."

"Yeah, fer ya. Not me, I heal."

Scott poked the meat and made a show of picking it up, in his fingers, Logan noted, and tearing off a piece with his teeth. He chewed it slowly and swallowed it. "Eat."

"More than that." Logan grinned. "Ya ain't gettin' off that light."

Scott picked up the meat again and held it out to Logan. "Want?"

"No, that's yers and ya know it too, ya bugger. Eat it."

"Wolv, please, no eat." Scott peered up at him through his fringe. "No eat?"

"That ain't workin'. Come on, couple o' more bites and maybe I'll let ya off. And proper bites too, not little ones."

With a sigh, Scott ate more of it, polishing off most of the steak in a couple of bites. He lay it down and stared up at Logan again. "Enough?"

"Yeah, that's enough, I guess." Logan sat down opposite him. "Now, be honest. Yer playin' up this at times yer get yer own way, aren't ya?"

Scott cocked his head one way then other, eyes narrowed with confusion. "Not, add words, too, wrong."

"Ya don't understand?"

Scott nodded. Logan grasped his hands. "Scott, ya sometimes pretend not to understand thin's so I'll be nice, don't ya?"

Scott looked down, and Logan knew he had him. He didn't know how to lie, and he was trying to avoid answering. "Maybe."

"No, yes or nor, Scott. I want an answer."

"Yes. Not much!" Scott backed away. "Not hurt? Please?"

"Come here, slim." He held out his arms. "Come here. I promised I wouldn't hurt ya, didn't I?"

"Yes." Scott moved closer, close enough that Logan could reach his arms. He wrapped his hands around the other man's biceps.

"Logan kind."

"Ya said that before." Logan pulled gently until Scott moved into his embrace, wrapping his arms around Logan's body.

"Logan good. Put up with bad things."

"It ain't anythin' special. I love ya, ya know that."

"Know." Scott nestle his head against Logan's shoulder. "Logan?"

"Yeah, slim?"

"Ever scared?"

"Sometimes."

"What of?"

"Losin' people I care for. The people who put the metal in my body. Hurtin' someone I love."

They stood there for a while, holding each other. Scott looked up from Logan's shoulder, and pushed their bodies closer together. "Logan?"

"Hmm?" Logan looked at him. Scott leant forward and kissed him, sliding his tongue into Logan's mouth carefully. Logan responded in like, pulling Scott closer to him so that their bodies were pushed fully together.

Logan wrapped his arms further around the slender frame, feeling hands pulling his shirt undone. He moaned and ran his tongue around the warm mouth, tasting meat and gravy over the prevailing taste that was Scott.

Logan let Scott pull his shirt off his shoulders, and bared his teeth, growling low in his throat. Scott smiled at him and tipped his head back, exposing his throat. Logan bit him and sucked at the join of his neck and shoulder. Scott moaned and pushed harder into Logan, encouraging him further, moving them so that Logan stood while Scott sat on the table top. He used the new position to wrap his legs around Logan's waist, pulling them groin to groin.

Logan thrust against Scott as he sucked his throat. Scott whimpered and arched further into Logan, grinding back against him. Logan sank his teeth into Scott's neck further, drawing blood, letting it fill his mouth before moving up to aggressively kiss him.

Scott pulled away from Logan and pushed his hand into Logan's pants, roughly grasping his erection and stroking it. Logan snarled again, not a threat, but an expression, head tipping back. Scott gently bit his throat, nuzzling his face into Logan's neck affectionately.

Logan pulled back, eyes focusing more as he took in the blood on his lips, spilling from Scott's throat. He tried to focus on it, he knew that this was wrong, that he shouldn't have hurt Scott.

Scott didn't seem to notice that he'd been cut, more intent on Logan's weeping cock. He tightened his grasp and forced Logan closer to him, rolling the ball of his thumb over the slit. Logan growled again and licked at Scott's neck, where blood was trickling down his neck, the metallic taste flooding his mouth again as he sucked. He fumbled to pull open Scott's pants, grasping his erection and dragging them so that they length against length. He encouraged Scott to wrap his hand around both of them, underside pulling along underside.

Logan kissed Scott again as he pumped them roughly, hand around hand, the pumping too rough to be called a caress, but gentle enough for both of them not to feel discomfort. Scott tipped his head back, the wound seeping more blood down his neck. Logan used his free arm to pull Scott to him, crushing their mouths together in a brutal kiss.

The tempo of their stroking increased. Logan could feel Scott's breathing becoming sharper and deeper, his heart beat increasing. Logan pumped harder, faster, head falling back, exposing his throat to his lover. Scott took the initiative and sunk his teeth in Logan's neck, drawing a small amount of blood onto his tongue.

Logan felt himself tensing, felt Scott doing the same, both of the teetering on the brink. They came almost simultaneously, Scott biting deeper into Logan's neck.

They were shuddering against one another, gasping for breath. Logan let Scott sink into him, wrapping his arms tightly around the other man. Scott nuzzled against his throat, pressing light kisses around the closing wound.

Logan came to his senses, the smell of blood drenching the air. He twisted Scott's head to the side, exposing the bite. "Shit, slim, why didn't ya say somethin'?"

"Hmm?" Scott touched his hand to the cut. "Love bite."

Logan almost laughed. "No, slim, love bites don't bleed. Ya gotta get that checked."

Protesting sleepily, Logan straightened them both up, cleaning them and the table. He smirked to himself, he somehow doubted the kitchen table was ever intended for that.

"Slim, c'mon, that's deep, ya gotta get it fixed."

"No, fine. Not hurt."

"Not yet. It will." Logan swung Scott into his arms, the long limbs hanging over his arms, head pushed into his shoulder. "Ya comfy?"

Slow nod. Quiet yawn. Logan chuckled deep in his throat. "Let's get that fixed up."

Logan carried Scott down to the hospital, under the mansion. Scott appeared to have dozed off, breathing soft and quiet, totally relaxed. Logan smiled and pressed a kiss to the unruly auburn hair.

"Logan, what's wrong?"

Logan looked up at Jean and sighed, tipping Scott's head to show the bite mark. "I didn't mean ter, honest. It just happened."

"Oh, my Lord, Logan, put him down on the bed. Is he injured anywhere else?"

"No." Logan lay Scott down, smiling despite his guilt as those full lips murmured and reached out for him again. He caught one hand and pressed a kiss to it. "Hey, I'm still here, slim, don't worry. Jean's gonna patch up that cut fer ya."

Scott nodded, eyes not even opening, and pulled Logan's hand to his mouth, kissing the knuckles. "Logan stay?"

"Sure, I'll stay."

Jean came over with a bowl of disinfectant and some gauze. "Shoo, Logan, I need to get in there."

"Why not use yer powers?"

She smiled as she dabbed the gauze in the bowl. "Because my control isn't that fine. Scott?"

He nodded, nose flaring as she moved closer. She didn't notice. "I'm going to clean you up a bit, okay?"

She lightly pressed the gauze to the wound. The reaction was instant.

Scott threw up his arm, smacking Jean in the face. He snarled and launched himself off of the bed, eyes blazing like molten lava. He turned and a blaze flashed across the room, striking Jean and sending her flying.

Logan stood stunned. He had no idea of what to do, of why Scott had suddenly turned violent again. "Slim, what the hell are ya doin'?"

Scott turned to face him with a snarl, eyes still on fire. Logan held up his hands. "Slim, Scott, it's me. Logan. Remember?"

Scott's face softened slightly. "Logan? Why the pain? Why?"

Logan went to answer, when Jean moved, standing up from where Scott's blast had sent her sprawling. He turned to look at her again, but she was prepared, and held his head in place with her telekinesis.

Scott started screaming and howling, clutching at the invisible hands that held him. His eyes were raging, the deadly beams ricocheting across the room. Jean was struggling to hold him.

"Let him go! Yer scarin' him!"

"No, he'll attack again!" Jean had fear written across her face. Logan turned to her with a snarl and his claws extending. "Yer makin' it worse. It ya he's scared of! I don't know why, but he is."

Jean let go of her grip on him. Scott fell to the floor, sobbing, begging with Charles and Logan not to let them hurt him again. Logan was by his side in an instant. "Slim, no one's gonna hurt ya, I promised ya that, didn't I? Yer safe." He wrapped his arms around the trembling form, pulling him close to the warmth of his body. "See, I'm here. It's safe, it was just Jean, ya know Jean. She's a doctor, she won't ever hurt,"

Logan's words were cut off by another long wail. Scott started fighting in his grasp, tears running down his cheeks. Logan held on grimly, waiting for him to grow tired again.

The door opened and Charles wheeled himself in. Logan looked up at him. "I don't know what happened. He just went berserk."

Charles came closer and stroked a hand along Scott's head. "Scott? What's wrong?"

Scott looked up at him. "Bad. Bad, pain. Bad. All bad, bad."

Charles pulled Scott to him, letting him wrap his arms around his legs like when he was younger.

Logan lay his head on his hands, eyes partly closed. Whatever improvements they had made, Scott seemed to have regressed back into his shell again.

"What happened? Something in that room triggered Scott to behave how he did, it wasn't a sudden thing."

Logan glanced at Jean and shrugged. "I dunno. Jean was trying to help him, fix up the bite."

No one made any comment about the bite mark on Scott's neck. Charles folded his hands. "Something was different. What?"

"We were in the hospital. He hasn't been there before."

Logan shook his head. "New surroundin'? Nup, he's been new places and not freaked out."

Jean's lips trembled. "Maybe it's me. He might be reacting to my presence for some reason."

Charles sighed and took her hand. "It is an unfortunate possibility, Jean."

She lowered her head. "It's so hard, seeing him like this, knowing I might be the reason."

"It's hard on all o' us, Jeannie."

Jean looked up at him. "No, Logan, you don't understand. He doesn't fear you. He fears me, I can see it on his face. You uncovered his eyes and let him see, I never did that. I loved him, and I grew up with him, and that man is gone. It might be hard on you, but it's a different hardness for me. I knew him for nine years."

Logan suddenly sat up. "He's scared o' ya."

"Yes." Jean looked down.

"That was what were different. You, in the labs. A doctor in a lab of metal. It looks like the old labs, at the holding cells. You, in a white coat, and the smell of antiseptic. That place always reeked of antiseptic."

Charles stared at Logan. "I think you may be right. I think the association triggered a flashback."

Logan grinned. "So, it ain't permanent, this fear?"

"No, I doubt it. With the right help he will over come it."

Logan grinned. "I'm gonna go find him."

When Logan found Scott, he didn't say anything, didn't move, just watched.

Scott was playing basketball with Rogue and Kitty. Out of all the students, they were the only two who didn't fear their former teacher, and interacted with him.

Rogue threw the ball over Scott to Kitty. They were all laughing as the ball bounced from one to the other, until Scott grabbed Kitty and held her up for a slam dunk.

Scott turned as he put her back down, and caught sight of Logan, leaning against the fence. He smiled broadly and ran over, Logan catching him as he launched into his arms, spinning him around. "Good mood, slim?"

"Yes. Learn basketball, remember."

Rogue ran over. "Logan! Mr Summers is starting to remember things. He asked me if I had done my homework."

Logan grinned and eyed off his lover. God that sounded strange. Nice but strange. "Did ya?"

Scott nodded, wrapping an arm around Logan's shoulders. "Tired. Night sleep?"

Logan nodded. "You two girls should head in, it's nearly nine."

Rogue and Kitty nodded and headed inside, not before Rogue threw back a knowing wink at them. Logan ignored it and turned back to his lover. "So, you want to go to bed?"

"Yes." Scott lay a kiss on Logan's nose. "Bed?"

"Yeah, bed. Yer room?"

Scott nodded. "Carry?"

"No!" Logan punched his arm lightly, laughing. "No, I'm not carrying ya."

"So safe, warm." Scott blinked, his eyes nearly clear blue. "Please?"

"No. But I'll make it up to ya."

Scott and Logan walked back up to the mansion slowly, hand in hand.

The End